Kerfufian lore



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Kerfufian Lore, Act 1: Kerfuf and his children

At the beginning, there was kernel Cornelius Cornwall, Rick astley, and Dani milkman, who offered their infinite energy to a mother, a blue meatloaf in space, who was instantly transformed into kerfuf, a giant paralyzed schizophrenic alcoholic asshole infinitely powerful hooligan, who created hooliganism. This also created Adam Sandler, who made all the Adam Sandler movies. This includes 8 crazy nights, which is about 8 crazy nights. His first idea was to create the silly activities, a group of concepts and ideas which would lead to power and true creaturism, or the concept of people a silly guy that people enjoyed being around. The people enjoyed being around didn’t work, but you can be a silly peep. His next idea was to create a funny heat orb, but then he made it weird and it accidentally created a bunch of weird shit he didn’t care about. Slowly over time, he began to allow creatures to feel his power, primarily the humans. They began to participate in the silly activities, and so the kerfufian energy had moved towards them. In the process, blue meat loaf was cut off from kerfuf and healed to create new ones. Notable ones include, fish, Alex, oofuayfuay, the man, porn crow, and the doomsday gooses. However, the most notable member of all to this remains to be the jorb, the Jork orb, and the most powerful and beneficial child.

Notable Kerfufian Children

Fish
Fish was the most genetically similar to kerfuf, and as such had similar defects to him, one such thing was his lumps, but the lumps were cancer, so he sadly died :(:(. He is made up of a purple meatloaf, and is incredibly long. He was also known for digging through stuff, creating tunnels I think?

Alex
The best friend of oofuayfuay. It is a floating head, and a huge furry. In fact it made furries. That’s how furry it gets. It went on several crusades across the world, causing furry chaos, after they were done, the damage has been done, and then furries were permanatly imbued in every culture. Japan liked foxes, Scandinavia had that gender-fluid asshole Loki. And England has Arthur the great and Merlin. This also sadly created all known war, cuz one of the furries was a racist, like many at the time, and spread racism across the world as well, causing racists to grow exponentially. Thankfully this was settled in the oofuayfuay and Alex orchestrated civil war. It was just done to get rid of racism, that right, two gods made the American civil war to tell people racism was bad. Alex and C share a conscious, however C is not a furry.

Oofuayfuay
A strange plasma creature, he is known for having a extremely toxic inside, but we aren’t sure about many other facts at this time, other than that he was created right next to Alex making them BFFs, besties, or even zesty bestie cool questie likers. He was also a major part of the oofuayfuay punctuation war. In which evil the man had several children, combined them into one, and made them fight against them. He was split in half, but ultimately won by eating the punctuation man. This made him a biggie, and we also saw his arsenic insides.

The man
Once known as a good innocent boy, but one day he was splashed with oil. This made him mad the man. But then he got his power energy boosted by a machine, but it also imbued a great evil inside of him. He had to be controlled and managed by kerfuf personally. But one day Evil Dennis, thought to be an ancestor of the jork, brought out that evil, finally turning him into evil the man. Soon after he became much more powerful, known for creation events like the punctuation oofuayfuay war. Before this, he even corrupted a kerfufian crow (a species of crow blessed by the silly activities) with porn, creating porn crow, who was inevitably killed.

Porn crow
All kerfufian crows are considered children of kerfuf, this is because a small fragment of kerfuf is placed in every single one, making them imbued with the knowledge of the silly activities. One was corrupted by evil the man, creating porn crow. He wrecked havoc across the kerfufian galaxy, or the Milky Way. He is known for creating Tasmania, and turning dogs into bears to make them evil so humans couldn’t pet them.

Doomsday gooses.
At the top of kerfufs literally neverending body, are the doomsday gooses. These creatures share the same mind, but all have completely different personalities because of dissociative identity disorder. They keep on circling around his head forever. As entropy comes to this world, and matter itself slows down, the doomsday gooses will too, once they are done, they will hit the spell on top of kerfufs head. This will split him apart into 3 new beings, and a single blue meatloaf starving mother. It will also collapse the entire universe into the 3 beings, making them extremely different from the last. We are unaware of what the last universe looked like, but these primordial beings may give us a clue.

Jorb
Jorb is the most powerful kerfufian child. This creature is actually a sentient volleyball. A significant thing about this one is that kerfuf created this one on purpose. This means that the energy was not taken by the creatures doing the silly activities, causing jork to be much more kerfuf energy dense. Jork is the creator of bugs, they made bugs. These bugs challenged humans in a way that would not have been brought until they found the ocean. They found disgust. Faced with this fear they needed to create new ways to kill bug, causing technology to advance rapidly. This fear of bugs was put into the gene pool by a handful of jorkian creatures. Primarily Dennis, Denise, George Washington, and evil Dennis. The kerfufian power exchange was also greatly benefited by these creatures. They introduced the ability to feel kerfufian energy. Allowing us to understand the silly activities. Jorb was also a major part in the Dennis wars and Dennis saga, this saga caused countless magical creatures to come to fruition, most of which are trapped in the great soup or folklore itself. It is unspeakable to amount of atrocities jork has committed, the change brought on, and the benefits of jorking people.

Thanos baby
This one’s pretty simple. A purple baby that can infinitely multiply itself. The reason we do not see this creature is because it has imbued itself into all borons. Thanos baby is actually the third most powerful child, next to jork and the doomsday gooses. It has control over all boron’s, and can transform all boron’s into nothing. The only thing holding in back is that every boron has a little shaky thingy, and thanos baby just shakes this a whole lot since he’s a baby.

The great soup
She is another kerfufian child, after the Dennis arc, things needed to be cleaned up, and most magical creatures were banished into her never to be seen again. Interestingly, this creature was also created intentionally by kerfuf, for infinite soup. This soup allows the kerfufian cycle to continue. Creatures preform silly activities, energy is transferred to them, magical creatures are created, they are placed in soup, kerfuf drinks soup.

Poorly drawn Kirby
The newest kerfufian child. He just a a little guy! Poorly drawn Kirby is all about being poorly drawn. He created a language called chicken scratch and taught children and adults to be illiterate. Truly an inspiring man with dreams of the skies. Currently poorly drawn Kirby resides in poorly drawn dreamland, where he listens to poorly drawn music and says hi to his best friend regular waddle dee.

Sbleebo
Sbleebo is another kerfufian child, and is known as the goddess of big brain. She had such a big brain that no other brain surpasses it. However, this brain is being taken over by the dark forces of ratism, and if taken over, signals through out the universe will be spread, corrupting those with and ratism. A terrible fate for the galaxy. This will even affect kerfuf, which may even make it so the doomsday gooses cant reset the universe.

Victor Von was birthed by taking a bit of kerfufs blue meatloaf, putting it in a grinder, and mixing it with waxed silver. Victor Von is an asshole, and nobody likes or worships him. His only talent is cooking cheese.

Lord Penis
Lord Penis was born from a alien hooliganist. These aliens had massive fucking shlongs, they extended magnitudes of their size. This caused the child to have that same energy. This caused him to have the biggested penisted in the whole galaxy. Even bigger than that of kerfuf, which isn't very impressive considering its 0.1^#ofsillyactivities. The only reason lord penis is known by most human creatures is that it was the first kerfufian child we found out in space. It was hanging out near the center of our galaxy, where we then used a telescope to see it. Lord Penis also takes the apperance of a pig for no reason whatsoever. He was born that way. He also started several wars. Including but not limited to, shlong vs kong debate, the pits vs tits, the weenie vs raviney, and even the great ass war of 75'. All of this caused Lord penis to be the most hated war criminal galactic general, giving him the title of 1 of 5 lords of the universe. He is also immensly powerful, and is thought to be even more powerful than the Jorb, and spreads silica through out the galaxy, creating life. One time his accidentally created mirror life, this was a no no, and killed trillions, it also transformed the planet into a pp for some reason. Today he has found peace, and is believed to have absorbed his essence back into kerfuf, but will return when the shlong balance is disrupted.

Silly activities
You can never truly understand the silly activities without dedicating all your life to hooliganism. But the main principles can be understood with 3 lines
1. Don’t try to understand, try to wear underpand.
2. Goobers be goobin, Sooners be zoobin, doobers be doobin, oh yeah.
3. CUBIC METTERRRRERRRRRR


As your increase your understanding of the activities, you will find these messages over and over in your studies. Each one of these equations is an important foundation of matter, space, and time itself. They create the universe. They are a constant in every kerfufian universe, or any universe where the 3 primordial beings exist and create kerfuf. Silly activities slowly warp your brain to be more blue and red, allowing your body to process information. At the highest tier of kerfufian occult, you can choose to become a cat girl cat boy, or cat creature. Morphing your body entirely. There are several important factors in understand the silly activities. You must be silly, you must devote, and you must donate all your butterfingers to your mother and or father. Slowly as sillization progresses (the process that transforms your brain during the transition from squleam to yummy creature) your brain will carve all silly activities, there are over 50 googol ^ tree(16 quintillion) ones. It will do this by engraving it on the individual sections of the thanos baby inside your boron’s, of which there are a stupendous amount. More than the number of silly activities.

Each one of the kerfufian children was born from a single hooliganist who dedicated their entire life to kerfuf. The source of the main earthling children are as follows.
Doom gooses - This one is a unique scenario, a being from a past universe, or from before the change, known as doomsday lord went back to the beginning of time, and on top of kerfufs head. They then created a ritual there and tore off a piece of kerfufian meatloaf and created them, they did however enchant the gooses with his mind, but fractured it. Later in the far future, the doomsday gooses fully slow down, and when they hit the sign, they will fracture kerfuf, sending them far, far into the new universe, and iniating the change, creating the next time lord.
Fish - Feuerm
Flibby - _basic__, one thing about this creature is that it was sent back in time too far, going all the way back to the last universe.
Alex - C
Poorly Drawn Kirby - J
The Man - The great marshmallow
Oofuayfuay - The sun
Thanos baby - another unique situation, a creature known as Thanos merged himself with a piece of blue meatloaf, creating Thanos baby. A good chunk of these Thanos babies where sent just before kerfuf was born to be placed in all of the matter in the universe, allowing kerfuf to replicate the subatomic particles and create all matter, also placing Thanos baby inside of them, some boron’s even have multiple!
The great soup - Kerfuf
Cloud guy - unknown

Every time a kerfufian child is created, they are sent back in time 1000s of years, this is because every time kerfufs matter is changed, it explodes with extreme violent ammounts of energy, sending itself back in time.

Kerfufian Lore, Act 2: Dennis, The Earman of Earth

In order to explain dennis lore, which is the main point of this act, we need to talk about religous roles in hooliganism.

The head of the religion is kerfuf (duh). Below him are all of the yummy creatures. All yummy creatures are actually cat people, as well as knowing every silly activity. The religious book is known as “all known kerfufian lore” which is more of a text document, and comes in parts instead of chapters or anything else. There is a different hooliganist book for every single planet, though they do not have Dennis lore for it is replaced with something else. They also do not have things like the civil war, as there was not a racist furry. While there is not a class for the following groups, they are all considered yummy creatures, and hooliganism priests.

Earman, there is one for every planet, they act as a beacon for kerfufian intel and energy, the earth earman is Dennis. They are all immortal and eternally asleep.

Eardrums, people who act as further beacons for the earman, allowing the data and energy to spread throughout the planet, at any given time, there is 1-5 of them for every given planet, though typically there is 3-4.They are not immortal.

High priests, people who collect data from eardrums and preach it to a higher quantity of people than the priests.

Priests, those who hear data from the high priests, and preach it to a lower amount of people than the high priests.

Furthermore, every single priest has a kerfufian child connected to them. This is because the majority find it useful to have a creature who can provide more power to give to their audience. This is however not useful to normal yummy creatures as the energy only can be used to help transform into a yummy creature. They make sure the kerfufian child fetus is fully formed by performing a magical spell that is extremely hard to do. Another reason why it isn’t worth it for yummy creatures is due to the danger of creating one. There are only 1000 different kerfufian children out there, and about 610 are apart of some disaster. Kerfufian children are also more trusting and willing to listen to those who preach kerfuf, and have a consistent ammount of knowledge about them. Normal yummy creatures don’t preach kerfuf, nor do they have as much knowledge about him, (though they do have a lot.)

All of dennis lore takes place before the founding of babylonia, all jorkian creatures in dennis lore other than dennis are now in the hole

Dennis lore (s1-s2)
Once the jorb created the jorkian creatures, they eventually had descendants, creating Dennis, Denise, George Washington, and evil Dennis. Dennis and Denise loved each other, but broke up. At some point evil Dennis ate Dennis, so sad. Later evil Dennis and George Washington got together and slowly created more jorkian creatures, which then merged into the human race, this allowed for the rise of hooliganism. After this there was a big fight between Hot Potato and prehistoric dominion. At this point the critter and theta chopper were born. Meanwhile the qorb (demon) was born from creatures unknown to this day. Around this time was all the the man shenanigans. Anti evil Dennis was also born. Soon anti evil Dennis ate meth and became ultra meth Dennis who watched the holy shrek 2 dvd and what followed allowed Dennis to gain a new body, and come back from the dead. Full evil the man arc After becoming evil the man via evil Dennis and his evil machines, he began to corrupt a kerfufian crow to become porn crow. This crow is also known as deez nuts. The porn bro had a great fight with the people of Stick land, but was ultimately killed, leaving his beak sticking out from the ground not far from fishes grave. This place is called crows landing. After his plan failed, he created several of his own children, all based on punctuation marks. They were all merged into one and sent off to fight oofuayfuay. Punctuation man used his exclamation gigasword to slice oofuayfuay in half, but the arsenic inside of him poisoned puncuation man, causing him to be paralyzed, he was then eaten by oofuayfuay. Oofuayfuay became biggie stitched up oofuayfuay, and then later started the civil war. After this evil the man required to gain power and went down to gain more power, eventually gaining some from the qorb (a demon that is the opposite of the jorb) and various other sources.

Dennis Lore s3
Soon George Washington and evil Dennis combined to create evil love, who merged with evil the man to create ultra ultimate prime mega Apex evil the man. Dennis evolved with hollow purple and a robot to create robo Dennis. But sadly he was eaten by evil the man, but the goodness of Dennis corrupted him and he became dennis the man, who got power from the jorb to become Dennis the god.



Dennis lore (s4): cave lore (s1-4)

Most of the things that happened in cave lore didn’t actually matter much, but I’ll go over it anyways, it will be long.this is the longest season at 9 fucking pages, though really only 6 contain actual lore.

Critter had many children, primarily leg o cave mite and grand father cave mite. These two created the majority of the population. The rock of true power created the light rock and the dark rock. The dark rock helped creat dark mage cave mite and evil king cave mite, who merged with other people to create ultra evil cave mite king. The light mage, rebel queen cave mite, and high school cave mite, all of which who were created with the rebel/goth cave mite, merged to create ultimate cave mite queen. The corb, aka cave orb, created from critter and the light rock, created the orb mite, who duplicated himself to make 9 others. All 10 merged to create the rock of true power and traveled back in time to create itself. The malformed orb cave mite, child of critter and the light of rock, merged with the light rock to create the broken god of light. The broken dark god also was created from a similar process. They were then fixed to create the true gods. The dark god became abyssal, but was merged with eye tears causing it to turn back into a normal (true) cave mite, who then summoned the jorb who killed the other main villain, the ultimate brain rock, who was created from a shit ton of rock energy rock Dennis and the indomitable human spirit, he evil though. This left behind the eye of all power, which is constantly being pumped full of energy by a battery powered by the cave mites deaths. After this not much matters, other than that the evil master of death caused a huge volcano killing all the mites. But there is one more important part of this story. After this critter left with the eye, and as all the critters died he absorbed the eye and left, becoming instantly more powerful than anything else ever other than kerfuf gomper god, and one other character. After critter killed everyone in the caves minus a goth spirit and one other guy, he got the two other escapees and turned them into terrible monsters. Now if it wasn’t for one thing, critter might have been able to kill everyone minus kerfuf and gomper god. So what is this one thing, why did evil the man send a clone instead of himself, and what is more powerful than critter.

Before we can get to this section, we have to go through 3 seasons, and 2 arcs.
Post the man arc (s5-s6)
Qorb, after merging with electricity and furries, became extremely powerful, about as powerful as Alex. Dennis the god thinks theta chomper is a friend (he is not) this causes him to have trust issues, he then has a child called the evil question mark, who has a child with evil co (the company of evil Dennis) to create the evil machine, which is sent back in time to create evil the man, but not before it’s used to create evil nerdmaximus with bad nerd ghost. Evil nerd Maximus then merged with carman to create evil car nerd, who merged with Dennis god to create Dennis the god (stereo), Gojo was split apart into two creating meth Gojo (who was merged with meth) and evil question mark Gojo, (who was merged with evil question mark) , later wim 2 had a child with the Supra sword, a extremely powerful sword who is the child of a knife and dino can, to create wim 3. Wim 3 has an eyeball sword! Wim 3 merged with the holleye purple + question mark, who is actually related to wim, this created the hollow sword of mystery and evil, who is merged with Kirby 6 to create evil kirby of hollow purple, but is killed and absorbed by hero, the transcended self of band kid, assisted by the orb orb, who then becomes anti evil Kirby (final Kirb) all of this leads to electric furry qorb, meth Gojo, wall of wim + meth, and 3 different theta chompers, creating the qorb, god of chaos, fighting Dennis the god (stereo) and all the other good guys, who combine to create Dennis but cool, who has a portal to the cool dimension, where qorb god of chaos is sent to.

Critter arc, s7
Critter who at this point has 2 giga demons, aka really powerful demons, more so than qorb, called rapid goth and full on mutant. Dennis but cool is forcibly teleported to their location, who is brutally turned into cave mites, as well as qorb, who has a critter tumor created by critter. This causes qorb to die. Critter, all 4 Dennis mites, and tumor mite, are all turned into critters by critter. The two giga demon cave mites merge into one. Jorb queen (sad) creates ultimate dark flavored antievildennis like Dennis + weird hands, using all of their power. This creature is instantly absorbed by critter. Alien derp lord, seeing the conflict, finds an entire tub of evil dino dna, and since evil x evil is good, coolish lump is created. Coolish lump constantly releases lump mucus. The mini mucus is created and merged with critter dna released by critter being punched by coolish lump. This creates 3 failed critters, and 1 good critter. These critters merge to create critter. Critter punches lump and lump is killed turning into lump energy (which can’t be absorbed) which is then absorbed) the qorb spirit, still attached to critter, calls kerfuf in, starting kerfufs return arc. Kerfuf, not understanding the situation at all, does not use his galaxy destroying powers on him (this will cause badness later) . Kerfuf slams his head against critter, but critter dodges it. Mini qorb spirit, who merges with one of the first humans, who are still somehow alive with jorkian ancestry. This creates mini qorb spirit brought form. Critter dna is placed within kerfuf, and he splashed himself with bleach to clean himself, and discovers this kills critter. Bleach cloud of kerfuf is created and basically kills critter. Finally allowing his metaphorical womb to open, releasing destar the man, at his final form before becoming god.

It is now time to understand Destar the Man

As mentioned earlier, there is another way to create kerfufian children. Evil the man, (the original not the clone) before creating the clone talked to crystal ball gurl, another creation of kerfuf. Here he found out he would die at the hands of Dennis. So he created the clone and created a destar fetus. Using crispr (how does that even work?) attached himself to the fetus and placed himself inside of critter (critter has no gender at this point, it’s kind of a metaphorical womb, where evil the man’s fetus and grow inside of, but not physically exist until unleashed) evil the man placed in a weakness to bleach inside of critter. He did this cuz he knew he would get splashed with it by kerfuf. He knew this because he looked inside of crystal ball gurls corpse (she was also genetically similar to Kerfuf)

Finale of Dennis lore
Destar the man releases evil Dennis, creating final Dennis, who creates the real fed. A lot of stuff happens that basically creates the man 3 who merged with destar the man, this releases some destar. It also creates pre god infinite power destar the man. Dennis is also brought back as Dennis but coolest (after being blessed by jork GOD. Jork god and mini qorb fall in love, creating morbk, pork, and korb. Big hand grown up and silly Billy merge and are blessed by jork god to create nuke god. Nuke god and Dennis merge to create nuke Dennis. Who randomly unleashes mini Dennis and mini nuke.

Nuke lore
Mini nuke has thorium and grandma nuke. Grandma nuke has 2 children with father piston, a kerfufian child, this creates mama nuke and evil mama nuke. Mama nuke has children with sticko, child of evil Dennis and George Washington, though sticko kinda chill. These children are explodyo, nuclear fish, and nuclear pistono, a apparently survived tarantula cave mite and explodyo have a child named furry gas dude. Thorium becomes a demon who becomes the great demon head. This then merged with nuclear fish to create demontopus. Demontopus merged with nuclear pistono to create nuclear spitter piston. Evil mama nuke has evil gremlin. George washing creates 9999 tubs of extremely potent George Washington, (it was a long time ago) and just 0.01% of a tub merged with nuclear spitter piston to create George Washington 2, who then neutralizes final evil Dennis creating nice love. Soon destar the man becomes a cocoon, this cocoon has many protector destar orbs to make sure he turns into a god. Nuke Dennis becomes big nuke Dennis. The cocoon slowly opens and evil the god is unleashed. Kerfuf is still dumb and still won’t use his universe destroying powers. Instead his spirals around evil the man, who has a life destroying aura. For 10 years this happens. But at some point evil the god absorbs enough kerfufian energy to wipe out the kerfuf stream.

Finale of Dennis lore pt 2
Dennis and kerfuf create kerdennis, they don’t like each other so it’s kind awkward. Soon enough they squish and squish. Evil the god is getting hurt. And finally he dies. Dennis decided to go back to bed, he is now used as a great beam for kerfufian energy to come down to earth, and is in fact a portal to stickland. He is extremely important to help make sure creatures can still take in kerfufian energy, and feel its presence. Kerfuf uses his two portals that he’s been connected to this entire time, and closes them in, teleporting him back to the center of the universe. Jork god and mini qorb visit sometimes.

Kerfufian Lore, Act 3: Miscellaneous



Spanish water
Spanish water is a very special drink that kerfuf offers out sometimes. DO NOT DRINK IT. It is completely poisonous to every single creature except for Kerfuf. But it tastes like sparkles and rainbows so it might be worth it fr fr

The Kerfufian Afterlife
Souls don’t really exist. There is a natural ammount of kerfufian energy in every molecule, including electrons, caused by Thanos baby. All of this kerfufian energy is special, as it can save your consciousness in the exact energy waves. Once your die this code will fall apart, but instead it is saved by your kerfufian child. Once you create a kerfufian child, it will have the same soul code as you. While your soul code can still evolve, there’s can’t, it’s more of a inate kerfufian energy. The child who judges you has the most similar soul code to you. It is also known to take place in stickland.

pt 1: Reflection
An ancestor will come with you and your post death soul code, they will review your life and how it was, during this time, you have much greater empathy to help you understand what you did.

pt 2: Judgement
You will see your kerfufian child, they shall judge you. If you led a pure life, you may get the best ending. Though it always decided by your kerfufian child, and they are not always fair.

pt 3: E N D I N G
You may get banished to your own personal torture dimension (terrible life), get absorbed into the Meatloaf (bad life), forced to be a ghost (mid life), reincarnated (good life), or your essence gets a single cubic meter to inhabit somewhere in the universe (amazing life).

Stickland
Several holes through out the Milky Way (kerfufs favorite galaxy) as a project between jork the great soup and kerfuf. These holes lead to Stickland, it is called this because each hole is marked with a stick and cuz kerfuf likes kettle korn. Stickland attracts many kerfufian creatures, which is another reason for their “extinction” on the main universe. In Stickland, there is only tax evasion, there is a tax collecter, but he’s too scared. This is where the crows landing (a city on top of porn crow and fishes grave) and all alive kerfufian children mostly reside. However kerfuf himself lives at the center of the universe, 1 million light years away from the Milky Way.

The great marshmallow
The great Marshmallow was a great hooliganist, and Jorkian creature. The creature was evil though, it may have been silly, but dang did it want to eat people. The marshmallow grew and grew, and so did his hunger, which at some point imploded, turning him into the great marshmallow, and placing all of his skin on the inside of his body. The Jorb came down and placed him inside of the ground of a local elementary school, where he dreams. Also apparently his brain ascended, creating the man.